Ok, I have been totally letting go these days - not exercising and eating all things bad. Just been stressed and its not been happening. I am going to try to exercise tonight and get back into things.

My weight was at 171 for a while. amazingly this morning I saw 168.5 on the scale for no efforts on my part. I can only attribute this to not eating 3 hours before bedtime which I have done in the last couple days. This always makes a huge difference for me, but is also one of the hardest things to do. In the morning and afternoon, especially at work, I can easily manage what goes in and out of my mouth... but the evenings are the battle. that's when cravings are at their worst and I am ravenous.

In all, I am glad I am at 168.5 for whatever reason I have no idea. But hopefully this will give me the boost to start making efforts to move downwards again.

this year has been a weight nightmare so far. By far the worst in my life. I do think my metabolism decided to plunge. I keep thinking and dreaming that I can get "back down there" again to some of the weight levels I used to hate, but now I only dream about...

Gonna try to start working at it again.... 

Well, it sure has been a while....

But here I am.

I had been extremely busy and also gone on vacation during labor day...

unfortunately.... I am at 170 again  Yup.. back to the drawing board.

Will try to get back to exercising and eating well. Boy is deviating unforgiving....

So... here I go again.

Well, it has been a really busy week for me, and next one will be too so will likely not be posting... but wanted to steal some time for an update.

I'm 166 at latest weigh in which is surprising since I've hardly been good this week. I did squeeze in 30 minutes of cardio yesterday miraculously and will really try to today as well. But heck if I even maintain over the next week, that will be a win for me.

I am so glad to see the support here as always. You are right going_down - it IS a lifelong thing for sure... will just keep swimming over the next week - and the rest of my life hopefully

 

Well, on Saturday I saw 165.5 on the scale. Whoohoo! Of course I celebrated by having a pig Sunday, so have not weighed myself today yet cause I know I wont see that number again. Overall though, I have done decently. I really dont compromise the exercising - 5-6 times a week, no ifs ands or buts, so that's really been good. I try to do good on water. Eating, is iffy. On an average day, I know I still break some rules.

Well, I sure am slow as a turtle, but at least overall its moving in the right direction, even if ever so slowly. I am REALLY tired today and already thinking of good excuses not to work out tonight, so will just have to shut my eyes and ears just JUST DO IT.

Actually keeping this journal is giving me a realistic feel of how long things are taking. It has been weeks. And it has been that way since January. In this time I have managed to lose about 10 pounds, but when you consider the timeframe, it has been sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

 What do you do? Just keeping swimming....

Ok, need to update again. The last few days have been  busy and I've been so caught up in other things that I am afraid I have been kind of lax about what I eat. I still try to get exersicing in no matter what and have generally been pretty good with that, but I am also afraid that my body is seriously used to the exercise tape I do. I've been doing it pretty constantly since January and can do it in my sleep. Maybe it isn't as effective as it should be? I sweat alright... but what was once terribly hard is now almost easy.

That said, my weight has oscillated between 166.5 and 167.5. I know it could be better by now. BUt I keep munching on bad things. I know I should not be "hard on myself" ... problem is if I am not, I don't lose, I only maintain weight. And trust me, there's nothing more frustrating than feeling like you have been "at it" for months with no significant results.

Sigh, unfortunately my metabolism does not respond to kindness....

I know I will need to crank it up sooner or later.
Hope everyone is having a great week.

Haven't updated in a while.. it has been so busy!!

Well, I'm at 167 at last weigh in. Thursday was bad - pigged out in the evening due to massive frustrations that day. I did work out on Friday and also on Sunday. And the weekend was generally ok in terms of being healthy although it was hardly perfect.

I found out on Thursday that a market fresh sandwich at Arby's has 720 calories!!! OMG, no wonder it is impossible to lose weight on fast food! Even menu items that are marked as "healthy" in restaurants are hardly that when you find out that this means they only have 800 or so calories instead of 10000000@!*@*&*^+*(!!

The great thing is I feel positive today.  Got up early, full of energy and ready to start an awesome week!

Have a great week, everyone!

Well, I added another 25 minutes to my work-out in the evening when I got home and somehow I knew and felt that my body felt lighter somehow. I stepped on the scale and lo and behold 166! A new low for the year! FINALLY.

Of course I can't be too happy, bearing in mind the fact that last year at this time I weighed 149, but coming from the whopping 175 I was back in April, this number does make me feel better.

I stayed up too late last night to work out this morning, but I plan to be good today and to work out at night. Once again, social lunch is looming, but I'm gonna try REALLY hard... fingers crossed

All I need is one or two more pounds to start feeling like I am remotely reaching my goals....

Girls, this is TOUGH. Battling weight is not easy. If I ever God-willing get down to "where I belong" again, I absolutely will NOT let myself go this bad again....

Of course, that's what I said last year too....

Well, a brand new week. Trying to hang in there. Joggged for 20 minutes this morning and planning on another workout tonight. Did 30 minutes of cardio on Sat but that was it since I last updated.

Have not been all *that* great on food. Munched on a lot of bad things for me over the weekend but tried not to seriously over-do it. Socializing definitely makes it hard. Somehow no matter what you do, a social life always means FOOD! And not just food, but BAD food with no healthy options...

I also find it much easier to control things while I am at work - drink water, eat healthy, than at home. At home, no matter what I am doing, I feel like munching on something all the time. Funny how an environment totally changes things!!

I guess it is all about conditioning... and I will need to condition myself to drink water at home and not crave things the way I did at work.

Bought some clothes over the weekend - not in the sizes I wanted  but some of them make me look pretty good so at least that is great. Dont you love clothes that complement you?

Anyway, I certainly have a positive outlook today and that's what counts. Gonna try to make it a good day!

I meant to post yesterday but did not get a chance to. Where do I start?

First, I'm kicking major butt on exercising. I worked out for 40 minutes yesterday morning - yes MORNING and also worked out for 30 minutes today!! Yesterday though, I went through a really "heavy feeling" phase. I came home and I just felt bloated out of nowhere. It was killing me and my self-esteem. Even though I had not had anything massively bad for me - I would not say I have been 1000% perfect with food, but I have definitely not gone overboard.

Well, I stepped on the scale and sure enough it clocked 171.5!!!  How???? From WHERE??

I could not stand feeling that way (water weight most likely) so ended up working out for ANOTHER 20 minutes just to sweat and get rid of some of that feeling - weighed 2 pounds less after that  Don't know what's going on. My scale has PMS sometimes I guess.

This morning it was at 169. It has been a week today - and like every other week, it seems like I just do a loop of a slight up, a slight down and back to square one.

I won't let this get to me, and keep going though. At least right now I am monitoring it closely. At least I feel good today and the bloated feeling is gone.

I have lunch with a friend again today.... so will have to not mess up. I think its these little things and munching extra here and there that are causing me to maintain instead of lose, even though I exercise ALL the time. And God forbid should I not exercise or pig out for more that 1-2 days and the scale shoots up with no mercy. Wow. This is tough.... But I'll keep trying....

I guess the thing I am scared of believing the most is that its in my genes. I see some people and they are just SKINNY and I ask them what they do and they go "uh, nothing". THey have not even exercised a day in their life. Still, I find it hard to imagine that they ever binge like me. Probably its more like they have a genetic predesposition to not pig out on food and not love it that much... that I can believe. While for me that would be a habit learnt against the grain. I was brought up to love food!

Anyway, back to my day. As always, one day at a time.

Wow, its been great to see that this journal has visitors! Can't believe someone actually wants to read my rantings  

But that's cool!

This morning scale showed 168. Still have to work out tonight since I woke up late as usual, and once again NOT looking forward to it... will have to close my eyes and just get it done...

I have done great but had an unavoidable lunch with a friend today, and restaurants are always SO tricky! Something tells me I consumed 10 thousand calories because of all the fatty dressings usually used. I feel stuffed! Will have to compensate with lighter dinner. Lets hope I can!

Lunches and weekend and get-togethers.. sigh, what can I say? Losing weight is already hard, these things make it seemingly impossible...

But will at least try not to do damage on my own time...